contemplative

I love Arashi, I really do. I do listen to other music because I love music and last I checked, I can. Arashi is the only group of it's kind that I really full support. I am really not heavily into pop music. I like hip hop, I like dance music, I like weird stuff, I can't stand most female J-Pop singers and I really don't hardcore follow anyone else in JE besides KJ8. They are J-Pop but like I said - they stray from the set category of J-Pop, in my opinion.

Arashi has really carved a niche in my mind that will probably never go away and I'm proud to say that. Earlier. I was depressed and I said,

"Most people have a friend that they almost need to feel whole. I'm not needed by anyone." I was feeling pretty low. I re-read the email though and really cheered up.

Arashi needs me, as a fan, to keep being a fan. They might not know me directly, but they survive as a group with their fans' help. I may be 1 in a million, but I'll make damn sure I stay strong and support them the best I can. I'm not going to let myself believe I'm not needed anymore. It's not true.

I've learned to value my life like no other. I haven't felt persay, like dying for a duration of time what would be considered impressive for me. Maybe this is all shocking because I don't always (except lately...) seem like the type who feels suicidal but it happens. I'm just glad I re-read the e-mail. A lot of the stress I've been feeling, the over-sensitivity to everything, etc like. Washed away just now. I got the e-mail a few days ago and I was happy but I was more...shocked. Now I've calmed down and let it sink in and it empowered me.

So, I wont go as long as I can support Arashi in some way. I love them with all my heart. They are my family, this fandom is my family. I feel stupid for not realizing this a few days ago, then I wouldn't have been depressed for like. Three weeks. XD

Read this post again today & just kind of though, "Do they realize the hope they give people?" Some might wonder, "What is it" that they do? I wish I could pinpoint one thing but for me, they always make it so I can laugh at things again.

When I loose my will to laugh, I'm at the bottom of my road. Laughter is my medicine. Making others smile and laugh empowers me. Laughing is important. Being happy is important.